Skip to content

romance.

31 October 2009

what i learned about romance from refrigerator poetry:

  • nothing happens to or is done by me, as there are no first person pronouns
  • in other words, everything romantic happens to someone else
  • everything happens in the past tense; no present or future loving, apparently
  • more happens to him or by his than to her or by hers (very little by hers, actually, since there is no ‘s’ to make her into hers)
  • for some reason saber-toothed tigers are romantic
  • as are big dogs
  • and pirate ships
  • there are some truly disturbing images for female genitalia
  • and hilarious ones for male genitalia
  • most nouns are adjectively enhanced
  • most adjectives come coupled
  • he is much more active and aggressive than she
  • i’m too embarrassed of the naughty bits to display them on the fridge where my innocent taiwanese roommate would see them; they live in a little plastic box on top of the fridge
and now i know everything i need to know about romance.  too bad it won’t happen to me (see items one and two, above).
Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: